Introduction To a Future Pharmacists
Hello bloggers! My name is Taylor Calvert and I am a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. My majors are Chemical Biosciences, Pre-Pharmacy and a Spanish minor. The coolest thing about my major is I am learning about the human body everyday. I personally think everyone needs to know more about the human body to properly take care of themselves. The cool thing about having a Spanish minor is being able to communicate with a larger audience. The best class I took last semester is Human Anatomy because I learned so much about the human body hands on. I was grateful to have the opportunity to work on a cadaver, to see what the inside of our bodies really look like. I absolutely love to cook and to garden in my spare time! Ever since I was a little girl I have always loved flowers. My grandmother and I would always spend time gardening together. personal photo: grandmothers garden My favorite flow
I read your Willy Wonka's Tourmentor story. I love the idea of combining the idea of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with the Ramayana. I especially love the idea of him going after and even being in love with a Queen of White Chocolate. I also like the twist of her being willing to go with him where originally Sita was taken against her will. Just imagine him leading her down that chocolate river in a boat while he serenades her! Is she made entirely of chocolate, or does she have more of a mutation or magic that allows her to ooze white chocolate? And more importantly, from where does it ooze?
ReplyDeleteI think originally Willy Wonka was a bit of a sassy, goofy character, right? I can't quite remember, but you could try to have Wonka play a bit more like his original character. That might give him a bit more dimension and allow you to play around more with how he goes about things.
Hi Taylor! I read your Willy Wonka story and I think that it is extremely creative! I could really see the Ramayana in your story and followed along very easily. Using the White Chocolate Queen as Sita having Willy Wonka quest for love was very creative. I also found it very interesting that Willy was struck by the fire gun in your story kind of flipping the script from the original where Sita was going to do the fire trial to prove her love and worth. The cover of your site is very nice and well organized. I did have a little bit of trouble figuring out how to get to the story though. Also, I would suggest adding a little bit of color or pictures to the first story page. Other than that very good portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor. I think this will be the first time I've read one of your stories. To start, your webpage was a little confusing to navigate, but I found my way to your story. Second, I notice that under your pictures, you post the URL to the source. This is fine, but it looks a lot cleaner if you post a link. You can highlight the work "Source" and insert a link with the URL. Other than that, the site looks great. I like the theme you chose, and really like the picture on the homepage. It made my stomach growl. As for your Willy Wonka story- I think it is funny that you made Ravana be Willy Wonka. I think your writing is really well done actually. Very easy to read and smooth. I like your effort to make Ravana somewhat of a savior instead of a villain. Some people actually think that Ravana was a really great guy, and Sita was his only weakness. I think it would be great if you made a sequel- but do you mean you will keep on using willy wonka? Or you will keep using a king-queen dynamic. Overall, I really think you're a great writer. But you must know this- I can tell you write with confidence without even knowing you. Looking forward to more! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI read your story and I loved it!! My portfolio is also centered a light hearted theme. I think it makes the stories way more fun for us when we tell them from perspectives of our childhood movies. I loved how you told the story from Rana's perspective and made him the good guy.
I did see some things that you may want to look back at :)
First off, had I not read the epic I wouldn't have known that the sister had a plot to have the brother do something to Omega. I think it should be described more why Omega slashed her tires, and why Sierra had a manipulating plan?
In the sentence that starts 'willy Wonka inquired," you put the comma after the 'and,' and you don't really need a comma at all.
In the next paragraph it says "She began to elaborate on Reye's voluptous curves that ooze white chocolate and her beautiful red hair down to her waist." you spelled voluptuous "voluptous" so make sure you add the missing 'u.' I think this sentence could be revised to make the sentence a little more clear. Maybe by saying "She began to elaborate on Reye's voluptuous curves, and her beautiful, long hair that draped below her waste." or something like that two separate the two things you are describing, but also describe them in better detail! :)
I found another spelling mistake where you put 'ha' instead of 'he". I would just go back and read the story again to find some of those little typos!
I really loved your story and can't wait to continue reading your portfolio! It's done so well! :)
Taylor, I must say that I really love that you took the direction of Willy Wonka in your first portfolio story! How you incorporated chocolate and the idea of it all was really awesome! I was almost confused as to why Willy would think of another woman other than his wife, but it made sense towards the end. I was actually quite sad that you had Willy leave his wife for the White Chocolate Queen. The names and descriptions of the chocolate really made me want some afterwards! It's interesting that you had Ravana become the good guy, in which you don't see that quite often. Does that mean that Rama would take Ravana's place instead or just the fact that Sita was no longer happy where she was with Rama? Or was Omega not Rama? I guess I need a little more clarity in the author's note. But I really enjoyed your overall take with the concept! Great job and I can't wait to see what other stories you add to your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteYou are so creative by incorporating Willy Wonka as a theme of your story about Rama, Sita, and Ravana. I can tell you changed the plot quite a bit. In your story, it seems like Sita wasn’t happy living with Rama. Instead, she had been waiting for someone like Ravana to take her away from Rama. It is nice of you to make Ravana a less-evil character in your story. I have found some grammar error such as the one in the first paragraph of Willy Wonka’s Tormentor, “Before, He could finish brushing his teeth his sister, Sierra, ran into …”. If I were you, I would reposition the image you had of the chocolate factory, such as in the middle of your story. So that the background of the story page doesn’t look so plain. You can also try to add some banner images or background photo to make your layout even better. Overall, I enjoyed reading your stories and I look forward to read more.
Hi Taylor! I really enjoyed reading your story. I would have never though to incorporate Willy Wonka. Sita and Rama are my favorite characters to retell in my stories so I really enjoyed this retelling. I thought it was very interesting how you made Ravana into a not super evil guy and after finishing your story I understand why. It was retold very well and I'm really craving some chocolate right about now. I think you should move the picture up to either a banner or to the top of your story so people can get an idea of the castle. You did a really great job and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteIt was so cool to see the stories retold as Willy Wonka stories. I think Mr. Dahl would be incredibly amused. I also thought it was very interesting that you made Ravana a hero instead of a villain. I always thought that Sita deserved better, but changing Ravana into her savior was a creative solution. And the whole chocolate factory thing worked so smoothly, it felt very authentic. The first story was definitely my favorite. The second story was cool, but I'm not sure that I knew what story it was referencing. Maybe it was a story that I didn't read? I would maybe explain it a little more in the authors note. What week was the story from? What was the name of the story? Your bibliography says it's from the Mahabhrata, of course, but maybe it could be more clear? It was cool that you moved forward from the Ramayana, though. A lot of projects that I've seen, mine included, have focused on the Ramayana, but you've taken one theme and carried on to more stories, which is so cool. I wonder if you'll continue with this as the semester continues? That would be cool!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteWilly Wonka was the last thing that I would imagine for a crossover with Indian epics, but I was pleasantly surprised! I think you could have incorporated a little bit more of the epic into the story. Nonetheless the story was very interesting. It was a little bit strange with the twist with the weapons in the Charlie the Chocolate factory adaption. I think what you could have done was used more of either element when writing the story. You did do a good job with the writing style. It was very immersive and it was quite interesting to read. The dialogue was also well placed and helped to explain the story. The author's note also helped to give insight to your thought process and helped to understand where you were coming from. After reading the note it did help with understanding a bit, but perhaps in the future stick to one or the other more. Great writing.
Hey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteWow, I really loved your project but it definitely made me crave candy! I thought your design was really awesome with all the colors and even the font. It made me want to look around on your site for sure! A Willy Wonka theme was such a good idea and I am a little jealous I did not think of it myself! I thought your stories were really great and I honestly could not come up with any critiques on those. However, I was thinking maybe it would work if you move your pictures up to the top of your stories. If the readers see a really big and great picture right off the bat, they will know more of what they are getting into. IT will also help them to visualize more as the read instead of waiting until the end to see a picture. But great work! I really enjoyed reading!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI really love the idea behind your project. I think it does a good job of welding together two famous stories from opposite sides of the globe: the Willy Wonka story and the Mahabharatha. Your site was really aesthetically pleasing, too - the font was stylistic, the background was simple, and the pictures added good meaning to the stories. I think the way you organized your story was useful, too. It helped develop the characters well, and the procession of events was really smooth. One thing you could work on is fixing some of the grammar - in some instances, such as when you say "However, you did not take into consideration when were at a disadvantage," there are some missing words that could help fixing the grammar. Overall, I thought you did a fantastic job with your writing, and look forward to reading more of your project!
Hi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteWow, I do not think I have been to your project website yet, but it looks really great. The front page is very vibrant and colorful, with some great pictures. This got me excited to dive into your story, and you did not disappoint. I really like the theme of the Willy Wonka story, because that movie is awesome and also because you were able to put a good india epics spin on it! You have a lot of dialogue, which makes it easier to understand the characters better. You did a great job of separating the paragraphs in between dialogue as well. This is something that I always forget to do and struggle with, so great job on that! Overall you are off to a really great start on your project, and hopefully will continue this! I am looking forward to coming back to this site later on in the future. Great work so far.
Brooks
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story. While reading I was wondering which of the Gods your story was about, so I am thankful your author's note clarified. I love the theme of Willy Wonka, it was also one of my favorite movies growing up. I still want to find a Wonka bar, I've seen one in my life but I wasn't able to grab it. You'd think I could just go to where I found it, but it was at a Block Buster; so that's not gonna work. I liked the separation of paragraphs and your dialog. I did not understand in the story why the sister was excited about the manipulation, and I even wondered where the manipulation came in. All in all, I did enjoy the story a lot and plan on coming back to read more.
Hey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was excitement because your story was twisted with Willy Wonka! I absolutely love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (who wouldn't?) and I was curious how you would tie it in with readings from this class. As far as the set up goes, your layout is easy to follow and I like the colors. I also really like that you chose one theme for your portfolio and you're creating your stories around it, and your picture choices were a great fit!
I love how it starts out like any other "normal" day with Willy Wonka brushing his teeth with mint chocolate tooth paste! I found many times throughout Willy Wonka's Tormanter that I was relating to Willy Wonka and enjoying the crosses between the two (which your author notes helped A LOT)! You're right, it definitely got intense in the second story of your portfolio, you kept that vibe from the original!
Overall, you did a great job incorporating dialogue! Dialogue is an important part of stories in my opinion because it really adds needed voice to the text. I can't wait to see the finishing touches that you make to your storybook as the semester closes. Great job!
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your great stories! I know this doesn't have anything to do with your actual project, but I love the "Thank You" at the top of this page; it is so cute! Just like everyone else who has previously commented, I loved the Willy Wonka-themed story. Everyone knows that story, so many people probably loved that one! All the little details of Willy Wonka made the story more interesting and fun to read; your descriptions of the different candies and the activities they did made the characters seem even more real. After reading your author's note, it totally made sense how you changed the story. I loved it!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteWillie Wonka is certainly an interesting place to set your stories in. I always have enjoyed the original movie though, so I was very interested when I open your blog and found that as the topic.
I've seen this mentioned above a coupel times, but I've been so used to the other webpage formats that it was a bit confusing to find your pages on this type of webpage. I'm not sure how much of that is your fault, how much is the templates fault, or how much is my own fault. But it did take me off guard. Nonetheless I enjoyed the concept.
Onto the stories. From the very first line of the Willie Wonka story I was... interested to say the least. I appreciate how you take liberties with the characters rather than just retelling stories from the movie. One such example was that Willie Wonka had a wife. It kinda confused me at first, but then I remembered that this was an original story, not just retellings and I quickly got over it.
Hi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you decided to set up your site. I think the matching peach colored banner and first line of text is a really nice touch, although you I think you should also do it for your first story instead of just the second and third. I also like the large capital letter in the first word of your second story, it's something you could do for all three as well. There are also a few typos in your Willy Wonka story, but you should be able to fix that with a quick read through. The last suggestion I have would be to give your portfolio a different name, something that would draw the reader in or give them some information about your stories, theme, or style.
I think you have taken an extremely creative approach to your project and it was very entertaining to read. You have done a great job and I look forward to seeing the rest of your project!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time checking out your storybook! I really think you've made the page much cleaner and easier to navigate. Now onto your story, Dr Seuss Crane and the Crab. I really thought this was an interesting mix. The transition into the easily recognizable Jataka tale was fun. It was one of my favorites too, actually. The writing is very polished, I'm sure Laura is helping you with that as well! There was one error in the Author's note, however. I think the last sentence, you meant to write "I wanted to see how" and instead you wrote "hoe". Overall, the portfolio seems to be coming along very nicely. I like the web design and the stories are all fun. If you have one more story coming, then good luck with that! And I hope we get to see one more Chocolaty story!
Hi Taylor! I would like to start off by saying this was such a fun portfolio to explore! I absolutely loved your themes of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Dr. Seuss! I don’t think I’ve run into such themes in either of the classes, so this definitely caught my attention. My favorite part about “Willy Wonka” was the introduction where they were brushing their teeth with mint chocolate chip ice cream—this made me laugh. My favorite part about “The Chocolate Battle” was how you used your imagination to incorporate your theme so well into a battle! My favorite part about “Dr. Seuss Crane and the Crab” was the addition of a poem—nice touch! I did wonder more about the original stories. What if you included a flashback of the original story to remind people of the original tale? Other than that, I loved your portfolio and writing!
ReplyDelete